Food & Drinks

Dining advice for middling restaurants

Pestiside has a great idea: Rather than dwelling on the greatest or worst places to eat in Budapest, they’ve compiled a list of those restaurants that have potential, or one good thing, or one major flaw. It’s a considerable list of also-rans, with color commentary:

Pampas Argentine Steakhouse: Don’t tempt patrons with “New York Cheesecake” if it’s just normal Budapest cheesecake made from túró and whatever else you make New York Cheesecake from if you don’t use proper, er, Philadelphia cream cheese. Worse than being disappointing, it leads transplanted New Yorkers to tell the waiters things like Figyelj – én egy igazi New York-i haver, én tudok ami igazi New York-i sajttorta, és az isn’t it, dude like I did last time, almost causing my wife to commit suicide out of humiliation. But love the steaks!

Paulaner Brauhaus: Tie a yellow ribbon ’round the neck of that guy with the Casio keyboard in the cheezy band, and buy some polka CDs instead.

Szlovák Söröző: Hire some Slovaks.

Szerb Vendéglő: Hire some Serbs.

Or vice versa, one assumes. And yes, that monkey in the photo is eating, and he is in Budapest, and that’s enough relevance for me.