Blinky don’t surf

Sure, Taipei’s been great. First, it was whoremongering in the Zone, dodging the advances of women your dad fked back in the 1970s. Then it was Wednesday night at Plush, dancing with the well-dressed but unattainable locals at Ladies’ Night. Because one Ladies’ Night is never enough, you double-bagged it with the expats at Brass Monkey’s Thursday night bacchanalia. Finally, just when it couldn’t get any better, you went slumming with Roxy Vibe’s after-hours gutteratti. Time for some fresh air. As soon as Typhoon Longwang blows over — yes, yes — hop a bus to Nanwan on Taiwan’s southern coast, where dual nuclear-reactor domes watch over the sleepy lil’ surf village like scary twin brothers.

The week I was there, Typhoon Nabi was days away from kissing the island, making for gentle four-foot waves each morning. Even without an approaching storm, the friendly locals told me, a sunrise surf is not uncommon. They also told me to avoid the northernmost breaks. Not because the rocky coastline is dangerous; rather, it’s here that the domes’ cooling water is dumped into the ocean. I found out the hard way one morning, when I drifted into the steaming-hot runoff. So much for a healthy sperm count. If radioactive wave-riding isn’t your thing, there’s plenty else to do around here — hiking, riding, even a hot spring or two. Nanwan is just minutes outside of Kenting, Taiwan’s most popular tourist destination, and the nearby national park boasts Sail Rock, also known as Nixon’s Nose. Rent a scooter (650NT/US$20 for 24 hours) and explore the lovely countryside. And no, there are no decent nightclubs in the area.